the perfect rinse

I was reading THIS POST and laughing out loud, because it's frickin' funny. The post is about an unusual new method of bathing.
You should really CLICK HERE to read it yourself.

It had me laughing out loud, and trying to block out mental images, and it reminded me of the bidet.

It made me think of the bidet but in reverse... no, no, that's not right. Kind of like an inverted bidet.
Read the story, you'll see what I mean.
The bidet has never really taken off in the good ol' USA but you can find them overseas quite a bit.
My first exposure to this lovely appliance was on a stopover in Casablanca, Morrocco. I was in a very nice hotel and it looked like they had two toilets. Except that one of them didn't flush, in fact it shot water out!!!

When I first saw it I thought to myself, "Why on earth would anyone want a drinking fountain right next to their toilet?" It just seemed so unsanitary to me. Someone had to tell me what they were really meant to do...

awkward

So I was commenting on the post and I wanted to make sure that I spelled bidet correctly so of course I googled it.
Then I ran across THESE GUYS.

Apparently, there is currently a market for premium bidets.
Who knew?

This company builds the guts of a bidet into a high end toilet seat.

They come with all kinds of fancy gadgets, like heated seats, air conditioning, hydraulic seat lifters, a "convenient remote", and of course a powerful deoderizer.

This thing is so advanced they even have a "pulsating massage enema" setting where the thingamujiggy actually moves around!!!

OK, coupla things real quick...
Where are you going that you need a remote?
Does a pulsating massage enema really sound all that appetizing to you?
Do you really want air conditioning running across your bare ass?
And as for the hydraulic seat lifter... if you're too lazy to lift your own toilet seat you've got bigger issues to deal with!