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I was hanging out at a music store the other day. Business was slow, and there were just a few customers milling about, playing guitars, or banging on drums. Music stores are generally a pretty casual work environment and the employees were walking around with coffee and chatting with each other. It was a nice mellow start to the day.
Then I overheard one of the employees spewing hatred. I could not believe the evil, hateful things this man was saying.

He was talking to one of his coworkers, and his back was to me so he didn’t see me walk up right behind him. He was saying, “You know who I hate? I hate those f*cking Jews. You can’t f*cking trust them, you can’t do business with them. Those g*d damned Jews are just pieces of sh*t as far as I’m concerned. I f*cking hate them.”

At this point he realizes that I am standing a few feet away hearing his little tirade and turns around kind of sheepishly.

I smiled real big, stuck out my right hand to shake his and proclaimed loudly, “SHALOM!!!”. He looked like he had seen a ghost. I said, “Hi, my name is Asa Goldstein.” Now he looked like he needed to change his shorts. He couldn’t say anything, he just stood there. I let him hang in suspense for a moment before I let him know I was just messing with him. He looked a little relieved, but definitely still shaken.

Hopefully next time he’ll keep his prejudice to himself.


Roman said...

When I got to the end of the quote, I thought to myself: Man, I would turn around, say Shalom, and introduce myself as Shay Goldstien (seriously). Maybe my blog is begining to effect people....or God blessed minds think alike

Hidden Valley Girl said...

Jimmy, I think you are such a mensch for your nobility! That guy, huh? What a schmuck and a meeskait!! His ideas and beliefs about jews are really mishegoss! You shoulda hit him right in the kishka or the shnoz! well, shalom to you and mazel tov!!

P.S. If ya want to know what I was really saying, google "yiddish phrases" and you'll have some good things to say when you visit your "friend" in the music store next time! :^)

ben said...

I don't know what Nikki just said but I'm hoping that she said you should've kicked him in the nards:)

Way to go bro!

Jarred D said...

i had no idea nikki spoke yiddish, i thought it was just hidden VALLEY (j/k). yeah i uh concur with ben, you deffinitely should have kicked that dude in the nards. i smell a jewish civil rights uprising in the works, and im not even jewish...jarred d

jimmy said...

just a thought. I'm pretty sure the word "Nards" is in fact Yiddish.


Hidden Valley Girl said...

Actually, I'll put my anal retentive hat on for a minute and inform you of the word nards, jimmy and jarred - It is the derivative of the medical word "innards" which means "inner bodily parts". There, I feel better now. As for the Yiddish, don'tcha know, in all of my spare time I've been brushing up, just in case . . . ??????????? J/K!!

P.S. The Hidden valley girl language has a little different twist on it than yiddish . . . whatEVerrrrr!!

P.S.S. Unless you enjoy dry humor, you will find this whole conversation really dumb and pointless; kinda like Napolean Dynamite (I die laughing every time I watch it, Wolverines, uuuughh!!)

Mad Cow said...

Sweet. Except, I prefer "junk". Not that there's anything wrong with "nards"... But "junk" is just so funny, like, "kick him in the junk."

Hey, if the human race ever decides to neuter certain males in order to further humanity, can I be the one to choose? Double sweet.