4.26.2005

GOOD NEWS!!!

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Fellow brothers and sisters in Christ rejoice! We now have our own bank! Our plan to completely avoid non-christians (heathen) is almost complete. It durn near blessed my socks off when I saw an ad for America’s Christian Credit Union” in a flyer I got in the mail today. The staff at this fine establishment is 100% born again (completely sinner free) that way you won’t have to deal with apostates and backsliders.

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You've been washed by the blood of the Lamb, why shouldn't your money?!?!? Call today and recieve a FREE gift, your choice of a "Purpose Driven Wallet", or "Prayers of Jabez" imitation leather checkbook cover. Don’t get too excited yet, check the section on “who can join” to make sure you qualify. Most, but not all, major denomination’s members may apply (protestant only please), so check the list and sign up today! If you are interested click on "Contact Us".
Remember... we answer e-mail, God answers "knee mail"!
Lord bless ya'

5 comments:

Gina said...

These were some of my favorite parts of this website:

About the benefits:
Members can also enroll to receive $1,000.00 of Accidental Death & Dismemberment Insurance coverage. Remember, "Once a member, always a member." . . .

About their history:
The founders believed they could make a difference by providing valued financial services to the fellowship of Nazarenes. In the true spirit of compassion, they even felt they could help good people with low income obtain loans and establish credit where they would otherwise be unable. It was literally Nazarenes helping other Nazarenes. . .

About their mission:
Helping one another, as Jesus taught, really works. . .

About the rewards program:
With an America's Christian CU checking account, you can earn rewards immediately and automatically. And the higher your combined household balances, the more rewards and benefits you'll receive. . .

From the owner:
Frankly, I can think of no better place for your resources to be than here at the credit union with high returns and a higher purpose.

Unbelievable.

Lat said...

Christians? Credit? At least the world won't have a tool to condemn Christians about bad financial management.

BTW, I'm all for Christians helping one another.

homebrewer said...

We couldn't cut it as a regular bank, so we use Jesus as a marketing tool. Hmm sounds like CCM.

Sadly I really doubt that Christians are a better credit risk than pagans. Also what about being beholden to no one, or not charging interest to a brother or loaning without expecting repayment? If I asked for a cloak loan would they give me a free shirt?

Lizanne said...

My husband, Preacher Man, and I needed a loan to buy a house. We had a friend who is the President of a huge mortgage company here in Houston. When the Preacher Man went in to talk to him about the possibility of a loan he said that in banking the three "P's" are usually avoided by mortgage brokers. You can't imagine my "relief" at knowing that there is an institution out there willing to take on at least on of the three "P's". Oh yeah, by the way, the three "P's" are pimps, prostitutes, and pastors.

Natala said...

oh dear .... what next ? :)