trembling before G-D

I just watched a fascinating documentary called:
“Trembling Before G-D”
This movie is built around intimately-told personal stories of Hasidic and Orthodox Jews who are gay or lesbian. The film portrays a group of people who face a profound dilemma - how to reconcile their passionate love of Judaism and the Divine with the drastic Biblical prohibitions that forbid homosexuality.
The subjects of the film responded in vastly different ways to the struggle between their faith, tradition, and culture, and their homosexuality. The responses ranged from, “Aaww f-ck it, I’m here, I’m queer, get over it”, to “I am celibate and I’ve devoted my life to the reading of the Torah, and prayers” and everything in-between.

David is an Orthodox gay man who has tried to change his homosexuality, through therapy, and prayer for more than a decade. In one of the most poignant scenes in the film David travels to Jerusalem to re-unite with the Rabbi that he came out to over twenty years ago. He tearfully tells the Rabbi that he has given up on changing, and asks if he is destined to live a life without love.

Devorah, is an ultra-Orthodox lesbian in Israel, who has been married for more than twenty years with several children and grandchildren. She says that the only way she has been able to hide her persuasion and stay in her marriage is the fact that Jewish laws prohibit the husband and wife having sexual activity during certain times of the month and after certain religious rituals. She has repeatedly asked her husband to make their relationship platonic.

Mark is the son of an Orthodox rabbi and was kicked out of numerous yeshivas in England and Israel for homosexual activity and had abandoned Orthodoxy. His is the story of the prodigal son. After years of rejecting his faith and living with wild abandon the film follows Mark’s journey back to the Orthodox faith. Mark is HIV positive, and celibate.

Israel has been in a monogamous relationship for more than 25 years. When Israel came out he was shunned by his family and his congregation. In a very moving scene, Israel writes his 98 year old father a note, hoping for reconciliation. He receives a phone call shortly thereafter and hears his father’s voice for the first time in more than twenty years.

Shlomo is in a monogamous relationship with another man. He and his partner do not engage in anal sex, as the Torah strictly forbids this form of sexual contact. He said that they find fulfillment in other expressions of love, and that they can live without sexual intercourse in order to maintain harmony with their faith.

Malka and Leah met in an Orthodox Jewish all girls high school and have been in a monogamous relationship for 12 years. In one scene you see the devotion to their faith as they prepare for the Passover, and follow the rituals, sing the songs, and pray the prayers.


It was fascinating to put a face with the story. You could sense the struggle that these people were dealing with every day of their lives. This was a very moving film. Click on the banner above, or HERE to see the trailer.

Watching this, several questions came to mind. I’ll pose a few of them here.

Are all sins the same… or are some worse than others? We’ve all heard the saying, “sin is sin” but do we really believe that?

Is the compulsion to do a sinful act, sin in itself, or is it the actual completion of the act that makes it a sin?

Is there any thing that holds such a power over you that you cannot say no?