7.25.2005

temptation

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

I Corinthians 10:13



I was driving home with the boys one day recently, after a fun filled day at the park. The truck needed gas so we pulled into the station to fill ‘er up. There was a very attractive young lady on the other side of the pump and she smiled at me when I climbed out of the truck. “That’s nice” I thought, “She seems friendly”. As her car was being filled she walked around the pump and started talking to me. I remember thinking, “I may be crazy, but I’m pretty sure she’s hitting on me!” I was trying to be polite, but I was starting to get really nervous.
It’s really hard to make small talk with someone when they are totally lusting after you!
I felt like a piece of meat. Just kidding.
Anyway, it was a hot day and she was wearing a tiny little sun dress that came up very high on her legs. She kept talking to me as she leaned into her car to grab something. I thought, “Can’t she feel the breeze? Doesn’t she know that everyone here at the gas station can totally see her panties? She has no idea what she’s doing.” And just then she looked back at me over her shoulder and WINKED! I was so shocked when she winked at me that I blurted out “OH MY GOD!!!”

Just then, from the back seat of the truck Obadiah rolls down the tinted window and says, “Daddy, we don’t say ‘God’ unless we’re praying to God or talking about God!”

OH SNAP!!!

As soon as that cheesy ho bag heard a child’s voice coming out of my truck she took off like I was a leper with open sores moving in for nice warm hug. It was frickin’ hilarious! I guess Obadiah was my “way out” on that day.

9 comments:

Jenny Jorg said...

That is HILARIOUS! I actually heard this story a couple days ago, but your description just adds a little somethin extra. *ahem* I apologize on behalf of my gender. Or rather for the half of my gender that aren't slushies!

Juliabohemian said...

That's sad...maybe it's because you are a guy that she ran like that...or maybe she was suddenly convicted by the innocent sound of a child's voice.
I mean, men seem less picky. I have had guys hit on me when I have my children with me and while I was pregnant - and I'm not exactly a model or anything.

Roman said...

That has got to be the lightest message about temptation I have ever read...and it was even more effective than some of the best sermons I've heard. Awesome, Jimmy

jamie said...

hahahahaha! Oh man, that started my morning out right. Although I really feel sorry for her that she doesn't think she's worth more than that.

Natala said...

you need to get one of those t-shirts that has a picture of your kids on it... :)

Thomas Costello said...

Even better than a t-shirt with your kids would be nice pair of girl repellent glasses. I used ot have a pair. Taped thick brown plastic with big lenses. Got to do something to to keep them off you big stud.

ben said...

Good old Obadiah, bringing some morals back to the gas station pick-up.

Are you sure that she was winking at you?
Maybe she's one of those nut-bars that starts twitching and squinting before she pulls a knife on you...not that I know anything about those kinds of girls, of course.

P.S. I love my wife.

jimmy said...

true. Maybe she has tourrettes and that was just a twitch!

Jarred D said...

wow, i was just telling my wife the other day about how a woman was hitting on me at the pool. its crazy.i run in circles where all my friends have beautiful women throwing themselves at them, and it takes a chick on crystal meth, high as a kite to ask for my number. thats ok i only need my wife as the one beautiful woman in my life right now...jarred